My training as a solutions focused brief therapist gives me the opportunity to work with you in a positive, goal oriented way that you will find helpful, challenging and satisfying. As a therapist I bring to you keen observation skills, the ability to see things from a variety of perspectives and an appreciation for the vast resources that you bring to the session. Being in the frontier of Marriage and Family Therapy techniques, I will help you see through your situation and together we will rewrite your life story, which then you will be able to enjoy individually and as a couple.
My therapy is strength based -- I will help you realize your strengths, your previous successes and build your relationship based on mutual respect and your strengths. We will also focus on intimate issues, as I believe a healthy sex life is a very important part of relationship of any couple.
We will examine multigenerational patterns and see how it is affecting our lives and relationship now. I believe there should be a balance of togetherness and independence in a relationship.
Communication is a big part of a healthy partnership and we will learn how to communicate effectively.
Argument is destructive; I will invite you to take the responsibility to change towards a healthier way to express your emotions and the needs from your partner.
Researchers found that affection, communication and child care are the most important behaviors leading to marital satisfaction. A good relationship is that in which there is an exchange of pleasant behavior and more importantly, one that minimizes unpleasant behavior.
Above all I will help you free yourself from the oppression of your problems.
It is very dangerous to have a pre-determined idea of life and even more dangerous of that is the only one idea that you have. When we are stuck in life, most of the time we see things the same way over and over again. This is when the problem starts; we feel trapped and unhappy. In therapy I can help you challenge these unhelpful beliefs about yourself and your situation so that you can liberate yourself from the problems and enjoy freedom and happiness.
As a Family Therapist I focus on solutions rather than on problems --this makes me a solutions focused therapist. Often people are constrained by their narrow and pessimistic views of their problems or of their lives, which generates rigid sequences of more of the same when attempting solutions. Hence it limits an individual to see the problem from an alternative point of view.
Being your family therapist I will help you bring that alternative point of view. We will negotiate a goal that is achievable and meets your family’s need; re-write your family story, in which you, not the problems, are in-charge.
The old gray donkey Eeyore, stood by himself in a thistly corner of the forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, “Why?” and sometimes he thought, “Wherefore?” and sometimes he thought “In as much as which?” – And sometimes he didn’t quite know what he was thinking about. So when Winnie-the-Pooh came stumping along Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little, in order to say “How do you do?” in a gloomy manner to him.
“And how are you?” said Winnie-the-Pooh. Eeyore shook his head from side to side. “Not very HOW,” he said. “I don’t seem to have felt at all HOW for a long time.”
A. A. Milne (1926 “Winnie-the-Pooh”)
When working with victims of sexual abuse I will work with you to liberate yourself from being a victim, empower yourself, and help you gain back your personal self. At the end of therapy you will be able to know “How to feel the HOW”, feel good about yourself, gain back your self esteem, free yourself and enjoy intimate relationship with your partner.
Adolescents are more aware than younger children of their emotional states and the causes of those states. Research suggests that adolescents tend to have fewer daily experiences of joy and more experience of moodiness or apathy. Adolescents experience a wide range of emotions including anxiety, shame, embarrassment, shyness, depression and anger.
A major task of adolescents is to gain tolerance of one’s emotionality. This means accepting one’s feeling and not interpreting them as “going crazy” or “being strange.” Attempts to strongly control or defend against these feelings may lead to “social alienation” or development of “non-adaptive” social behaviors. Outcome of these anxieties and over control of emotions can lead to anorexia nervosa or depression or extremely violent behavior. Individual or family therapy will help the adolescents to deal with their emotions and adapt to their surroundings.
